Why is Cancer Man Slow to Commit to a Relationship?

A Cancer man’s behavior, when in love, can be confusing. He will act completely devoted to you but also avoid commitment at first.

Understanding a Cancer man’s personality will help you to recognize the signs he’s in love. As soon as he feels secure, a Cancer man will settle down.

In the early stages of dating a Cancer man, you may think he’s not interested in you. This is because he’s good at trying to cover his vulnerability. He’ll commit when he feels comfortable.

He Fears Being Hurt

If you want to know how to make a Cancer man happy, it isn’t hard. Make him feel secure and wanted. He wants to feel like family. Nurture him and be empathic toward his sensitive emotions. A Cancer man is afraid of being hurt.

He needs to feel reassured that you aren’t going to hurt him. If he has been burned in the past, a Cancer man will hold on to his wounds and use them as a guidepost in future relationships. He’ll compare you to his exes.

He will look for evidence that you’re going to hurt him as well. A Cancer man will settle in and let his guard down only when he is assured you aren’t going to hurt him. He’s going to need a lot of coaxing at first.

Once he sees you as trustworthy and consistent, a Cancer man will show that he’s head over heels in love with you. He may go from aloof to attached at the hip in a matter of weeks.

This one weird trick is the only way to attract a Cancer man. →

He Fears Abandonment

Often, Cancers open up right away and jump right into relationships. If a Cancer man holds back, it could be his insecurities have been triggered. Among these insecurities is his fear of abandonment. Telling a Cancer man how you feel can help him feel secure.

He will look for signs of abandonment. His imagination can lead him to think the worst. He may mistake minor arguments or disagreements for major fall outs. This is because he’s always waiting for the next shoe to drop.

He’s so afraid of abandonment that a Cancer man will sabotage a relationship without intending to. You’ve got to be patient and demonstrate that you aren’t going to reject or abandon him.

Once he’s convinced that you are committed to him, he’ll let his walls come down and show you that he’s soft hearted. He’ll let you into his inner circle. He’ll start to let himself get attached to you.

He Wants His Family’s Approval

Because a Cancer man is so family oriented, he will often look for his family’s approval before committing to a relationship. For some Cancer men, the approval of his family can make or break a relationship.

Some Cancer men will forego family approval and follow their heart regardless of whether his mother approves. But many Cancer men won’t. If cultural, religious or other differences stand in the way a Cancer man may lean toward his family rather than his love.

He wants to make sure you will be part of his family. A Cancer man doesn’t care about romantic dates. In the long run, he wants you to be part of his home. He wants to celebrate holidays with you and his family.

He needs to make sure everyone gets along. If there is a conflict with any family member, he will slow down and wait to see if it can be resolved. If he can’t see a way for you to feel at home with his family, he’ll back out of the relationship.

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He’s Highly Sensitive

If you are attracted to a Cancer man, and casual relationships are all you’re interested in, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t commit. A Cancer man is so sensitive that he will know if you’re not serious about the relationship.

If you don’t show a Cancer man that you are madly in love and deeply committed to the relationship, a Cancer man will shy away from you. This is because he’s so sensitive. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up for no reason.

When a Cancer man is done with you, he will let you know it. Yet he will only give up on the relationship if he tries everything he possibly can to try to get you to empathize with him.

Only if he feels unsafe or insecure in the relationship will a Cancer man end the relationship. He will always try to protect himself and hide his vulnerability. If you provide a secure foundation and show him love and nurturing, he will relax and open up.

He’s Stuck in The Past

One of the other reasons a Cancer man is likely to be slow to commit is if he is stuck in old wounds. If he hasn’t yet gotten over an ex or if he’s obsessed with being hurt again, he’ll slow down.

A Cancer man wants to be fully present for you in a relationship. Yet if he is not fully over his ex and dreams of rekindling a past relationship, he may hold off. Even if it’s been years since they broke up.

Don’t underestimate his potential for wishful thinking. A Cancer man is tied to tradition and therefore he can end up living in the past. This can lead him to sabotage his relationships by hesitating for too long.

If he seems to care about you but doesn’t make a commitment, he may have anxiety over missing out on his chance to be reunited with someone from his past. He may also have unhealed wounds from his past that are holding him back.

Is your Cancer man not communicating with you? Here's the trick to reel your Cancer back in. →

He Doubts His Feelings

Even a Cancer man madly in love will occasionally doubt his feelings. That’s because at any given time, he’s overwhelmed by so many emotions at once. He may wonder if he’s really in love or just looking for security.

He’ll second guess his attraction to you and wonder if he’s making the right decision. He’ll panic and question whether he can really trust you. He wants to be committed and serious in a relationship, but he also doesn’t want to get hurt.

As a result, a Cancer man in love will try to ascertain whether he is really reacting to his feelings for you or whether his heart is deceiving him. He’s used to falling in love fast and making mistakes.

Even when he casts aside good judgment in favor of emotion, he’ll also second guess whether this was a good idea. He knows where doing this has gotten him before. He will hesitate if he has any mixed feelings about the relationship.

He Doubts His Intuition

The paradox about Cancer men and intuition is that even though their intuition is sharp, they are also likely to dismiss it. He wants what he wants and if he’s disregarded intuitive warnings in the past and gotten burned, he won’t forget it.

He’ll confuse his intuition with emotion. He may feel a strong desire to be with you and assume it is his “intuition” telling him you’re his Soul Mate. Yet if things get rough, he’ll question whether it was really his intuition at all or just wishful thinking.

Since he’s been through this pattern before, a Cancer man may slow down before committing. He will doubt his intuition because he’s talked himself out of listening to his gut instinct before. He’s also talked himself into chasing his desires when it wasn’t wise.

If a Cancer man needs time to sort out his emotions from his intuition, it can slow down the relationship. He may hold off on making a firm commitment because he’s discerning anxiety from intuition.

Is your Cancer man painfully distant? Rekindle your love. →

He’s Self-Sabotaging

Sometimes a Cancer man has insecurities from his past wounds that he hasn’t dealt with. His sensitivity and moodiness make him a bit insecure all the time. Yet when a Cancer man questions his worth, he may sabotage relationships.

As much as he wants a stable and happy family with you, he may also fear being hurt. In order to control the situation, he may do things he knows will push you away. He will feel uneasy with the prospect of getting his wish.

Rather than allowing the relationship to take shape, he may subconsciously undermine it. This can happen when he is too smothering or needy. It can also happen when he resists making a commitment.

He’s Testing You

Cancer men are used to diving into relationships head first and regretting it later. When the time comes that he actually slows down and takes his time, he may be testing you. It’s hard for him to have good boundaries.

Rather than defining his needs and being assertive, it’s easier for a Cancer man to try to set you up and see what happens. He may test you to see how you naturally respond to his needs, rather than just helping you respond effectively.

He may expect you to read his mind or automatically know what he wants. A Cancer man may believe that if you really love him, you’ll automatically know what he wants. This backwards approach can lead him to waver.

He won’t commit until he’s had time to test you and see how you react. He may check to see if you show empathy. He may even go so far as to test your loyalty.