Are Virgo Men Dominant in a Relationship?

A Virgo man fantasy has nothing to do with possession or control over the woman he desires. What a Virgo man likes in a woman is humility and willingness to learn.

It may seem like a paradox but although he loves to control everything in his life, he doesn’t try to dominate other people. He’ll help you advance.

Yet if you don’t follow his advice, he’ll move on. He has patience for many things but trying to make you live up to his standards isn’t one of them.

How a Virgo Man Handles Power

Virgo man traits point toward leadership. He knows a lot about practical, helpful topics. He’s always trying to help others. He’s supportive and detail oriented. Yet he doesn’t want to be the leader. This comes as a surprise to many people.

He knows that power means responsibility. He’s responsible enough to know he doesn’t want to be accountable for anyone else’s actions. Deep inside, he doesn’t trust others to follow through. Partially, he doesn’t want to hurt his reputation.

This seems selfish but it in a Virgo man’s mind, it is simply a matter of being honest. He knows his skills are better spent gaining mastery over himself and not trying to control you or anyone else.

The one exception to this happens subconsciously. When he’s stressed out or under pressure, a Virgo man will act controlling over others. He still doesn’t dominate them. He’ll nag or pick away at every detail.

He does this based on the urge to control what’s going on around him in order to try to achieve stasis within himself. He’s not emotionally oriented. He may have no idea his emotions are out of control.

All he knows is the world is messy and the more obsessive he can be about helping you make better choices, the less he has to sit with his own inner mess.

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He’s Controlling but Subtle

It’s hard determining the signs a Virgo man is in love with you. That’s because he is subtle about everything he does. He won’t act dominating and aggressive. He also won’t flaunt his jealousy.

If you talk to another guy and he doesn’t get jealous and make a scene, you may wonder “Is my Virgo man in love with me, still?” You may think it’s odd that he won’t passionately fight for the relationship when things are rocky.

But all of this makes sense when you understand him as a Virgo man. He’s shy, modest and subdued. Even though he likes to have everything a very precise way and even though he has a long list of things he wishes you wouldn’t do.

He’s also practical. He knows it will be impossible to bring out his long list of things he would love to change about you, so he doesn’t bother. He chooses his battles based on what is really most important or most helpful.

He’ll drop hints. If that doesn’t work he’ll talk about something he tried with good results. If that doesn’t work he’ll make a friendly suggestion. If that still doesn’t work, he’ll start to criticize and may act more demanding.

Yet even then he is not one to typically shout or give ultimatums. His style of being controlling is more like nagging or criticizing or constantly harping on details he wishes he could change.

He Likes to be the Assistant, not the Leader

If his boss wants to promote him he’ll shy away from such a role. He doesn’t want to be in charge of anyone else. Keeping track of his own high standards for himself is a hard enough job.

A Virgo man understands the old saying “The devil is in the details.” He takes this to heart. If he is in a position of power, he likely took it reluctantly and only because he felt others needed him to fix a messy situation.

He doesn’t take any joy in having power over others. He’d rather act as your assistant than your boss. Yet he can be quite bossy without realizing it. He likes to advice people but doesn’t want to be in charge of the outcome.

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He’s Helpful but Can be Passive-Aggressive

A Virgo man, after the first date, has a pretty solid idea about who you are. He’s observed you like he was a private investigator, taking in every detail. Later that night, he’ll replay the evening in his near-photographic memory.

He’ll scan through every conversation in his mind and think of all the things he, and you, could do differently. He may make some of these ideas and suggestions known. He’s trying to be helpful.

In his own way he sees this as an expression of love and concern. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t put effort into trying to help you achieve your goals. Yet he will take it personally if you don’t take his advice to heart.

When this happens, you’ll see his passive-aggressive side come out. He won’t confront you in an aggressive manner. That’s not his style and he considers passion and loudness impolite.

Instead he’ll give subtle and then not-so-subtle cues that he believes you need to improve some things. He’ll tell you directly what he thinks you should change, but if you don’t he’ll turn to passive aggressive hints and comments to make his point.

He Only Takes Charge if He Has To

When a Virgo man says “I love you” you know he means it. He’ll say it after he’s thought about it for some time. He’ll also usually say it after you express your feelings for him first.

In a relationship, a Virgo man only takes charge if he has to. He would rather be by your side or slightly behind you every step of the way. This isn’t him having an inferiority complex.

It’s a matter of being able to scout for signs of danger or interesting things or to generally be able to analyze his surroundings. He tries to keep his eyes scanning the horizon and likes to know what everyone else is doing. This includes you.

So he can seem nosy and inquisitive but he’s thinking like a survivalist, being prepared for any situation by knowing exactly where he stands. He doesn’t want to show his cards too soon.

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He Likes to be in Control but not in Charge

He has high standards but can also be very friendly and agreeable. He doesn’t need to make a big deal about what restaurant to go to. He just wants to make sure the food is healthy and well priced.

He doesn’t want to direct the conversation, but he will step in if no one else does. He thinks of power more as a sense of duty than an ego trip.

A Virgo man in bed, even in the deepest passions, doesn’t lose control of himself. He tries to exert control over his life through planning, scheduling and analyzing.

Though he is controlling, he’s not power hungry. He would actually prefer it if other set the stage for him and direct his energy, then let him work his analytical and intellectual magic.

He loves to play but in a relationship he needs to know what is important to you. This way he will know how and where to focus his energy.

Things that Can Make Him Act Bossy

If you’re not careful you may unintentionally trigger situations in which he feels the need to step up to the plate and act like the boss. He doesn’t want to do this and will only do it to fill a perceived void.

If you aren’t managing your finances, health or routines well, if you’re frequently late, if you’re indecisive or if you are frequently embroiled in drama, his bossy nature will come out.

He’ll think you need him to restore order and stability in your life. He may stop taking signals from you and automatically revert to what he thinks is the best and most efficient way to do things.

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How to Avoid Power Struggles with Him

You can avoid getting into passive-aggressive power struggles with a Virgo man by keeping a modest and grounded attitude yourself. Keep a level head. Focus on facts and data, not passions and emotions.

If you have a disagreement, state your case the way you would if you were talking to your boss at work and not your partner. This sounds odd but he processes things intellectually rather than emotionally.

Even though he loves you, this emotion will have less weight than his intellectual understanding of your argument. Don’t take his criticism personally. He’s trying to help, not offend.

He is modest and not ego based so if an argument gets heated, take a step back. He isn’t going to walk all over you because you are taking breathing room or showing vulnerability.

If anything, he prefers a reset so you can both get back to problem solving and not get distracted by extraneous details or emotions.

How he Tries to Exert Control

When a Virgo man hugs you, he does so on his terms. He may embrace you passionately, then reach for his hand sanitizer. Don’t get discouraged, he’s just being realistic. He’s not doing it to insult you.

A Virgo man will tell you how much he loves you and can’t wait to see you again. In the next sentence he’ll tell you he doesn’t have any free time for two weeks. He’s being honest.

He’ll cut off a passionate and loving discussion to go to bed at exactly nine pm on weeknights.

These are the ways a Virgo man exerts control. Notice a common thread? They all have to do with him and his stability and his habits. Seldom does he truly try to control you.

He’s not going to say you need to go to bed early, but he’s also not going to stay up late for pillow talk. He won’t question your hygiene, but he’ll wash his hands a lot. It’s not about you, it’s actually about him.

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Some Things He’s Definitely A Control Freak About

On that note, it’s worth knowing what really stands out to a Virgo man. He’s extra controlling about time, money and health. That includes eating healthy but also avoiding germs.

He loves you. But when you’re down with the flu, he won’t bring you soup. He’ll stay a safe distance away and email you a good recipe. He won’t kiss you if you haven’t brushed your teeth.

He may even hop out of bed right after sex and put the sheets into the laundry. It may not make him the most romantic guy, but it certainly makes him one of the cleanest and best organized signs in the Zodiac.