10 Tips on Dating a Shy Cancer Man

In the early stages of dating a Cancer man, he will try to be confident. He may hide his feelings and tell jokes to amuse you.

Yet underneath his charming demeanor is a shy, sensitive man. You may be surprised when he suddenly goes quiet. Dating a shy Cancer man requires strategy.

You can’t let his silence and moodiness discourage you. Understanding a Cancer man’s needs is easy once you know his unique personality. He needs to feel secure.

1. Don’t Focus on Emotions

A Cancer man always looks for emotional validation, but he won’t show his full vulnerability at first. He may seem indifferent when he’s actually falling in love. When you’re just starting to date, don’t focus on drawing out his feelings.

He’ll reveal his feelings in good time. A Cancer man’s dating style can take two forms. He’ll either open up right away and want to get married after two dates. Otherwise, he’ll gradually come out of his shell.

A shy Cancer man will show you signs he’s interested but he won’t take the next steps. You may wonder if you’re reading his signals wrong. Chances are, he really likes you. He can have a crush on you but still try to act aloof.

What a Cancer man is attracted to is a woman who can be gentle, nurturing and kind without putting him in the spotlight. If you act more like a therapist, gradually drawing out his secrets, he will feel more comfortable.

Avoid asking him too many direct questions about his feelings. Distract him with something comforting and amusing. Help him feel at ease with you.

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2. Take it Slow

You may think you’re seeing signs a Cancer man is playing you, except he isn’t one to play games. If he’s not opening up, he’s just not ready yet. It’s best to take things slow with a Cancer man.

Don’t be in a rush to get him to commit to you. He needs to take his time because he’s afraid of being hurt. He’s not waiting to develop feelings for you. If you’re dating, he already cares about you.

He may already be in love with you. In time, he’ll show it. Yet in the early stages, let him go at his own pace. The more patient you are, the more comfortable he will feel with you.

Telling a Cancer man how you feel can help to reassure him. He likes to know you care about him, even if he is more reserved. He can be so insecure that he assumes you know he cares but always needs to know you care.

3. Make Him Feel at Home

The signs a Cancer man has feelings for you can be subtle at first. Especially if he’s shy. He’ll find excuses to show up where you work or hang out, but then he may ignore you at first.

He’s just getting comfortable around you. A Cancer man can be awkward. Don’t take his reservation personally. Help him feel at home. Make him feel secure around you.

Try to lighten the mood. Play relaxing music or put on a playlist of his favorite band. Without asking too many questions, try to learn just enough about him so that you can make him feel comfortable.

A Cancer man wants to feel at home, no matter where he is. Suggest dates to places that have a cozy atmosphere. Loud, crowded restaurants are not a good fit for him. He needs to be able to relax and feel secure.

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4. Cook for Him at Home

If you know what a Cancer man likes and dislikes in a woman, you’ll have no problem planning the perfect date. You’ll know he loves nothing more than to spend time at home enjoying his favorite foods.

A Cancer man can’t resist a good meal. Usually he’s not too picky. But if you really want to make him fall in love, find out his favorite meal or his favorite dinner his mom used to make.

Even if you don’t know his favorite dish, you can improvise. Cancer men love hearty meals that are not too harsh on the stomach (not too spicey, unless you know for certain he likes it hot). He also loves rich foods with cream sauces.

Foods that are associated with culture or family are also usually a big hit with a Cancer man. Cooking for him is a double win. Not only will he love enjoying the dinner you made, it’s a conversation starter. Food always gets him talking.

5. Double Date

A Cancer man’s behavior, when in love, is much different from how he acts when you’re first dating. Behind the shy, aloof or even defensive exterior is a soft, insecure and romantic guy.

One of the best ways to handle the early stages of a relationship with a Cancer man is to offer to double date. He feels more secure around people he already knows well. Suggest that the two of you spend an evening out with mutual friends who are also a couple.

He doesn’t like large crowds, so it’s ideal to keep it to one other couple sharing drinks or going to dinner together. This way, he has the security of his friend. He won’t feel like you’re focused just on him.

There will be others involved in the conversation and he doesn’t feel pressured. He can also be his shy, wallflower self while observing you and getting to know you through your interactions with others.

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6. Tell Him About Yourself

Though it’s considered impolite to focus on yourself when on a date, with a Cancer man it can be helpful. Talk about your past and childhood. Tell stories about your family. You’ll help him connect to you. This can put him at ease.

Just be sure to avoid bragging. He’ll be turned off by grandiosity. Instead, try letting him know a few personal details about your past and family relationships. This will catch his attention. It could also help him open up.

If you want to know how to text a Cancer man, it’s best to send positive, inspiring and emotionally validating messages. Always be clear when you text him, because his insecurities can lead him to read between the lines.

When you talk to him about yourself or your past, it’s best to do so in person. Save texts for conversations about how his day went or where to meet or to let him know you’re thinking about him.

A Cancer man won’t mind if you text first. He needs a lot of encouragement. Drop him a line to tell him briefly how your day was and then ask about how he’s doing.

7. Ask About His Family

You can never go wrong asking a Cancer man about his family. If he had a difficult childhood, he will open up and confide the details to you. He’s looking for support and sympathy, so don’t try to get him to think positive. Empathize with him instead.

If he had a great childhood, he still enjoys opening up by telling you about his family and favorite memories. Either way, you get a closer glimpse into his world and he starts to warm up to you.

Usually, all you have to do is start things off with a story about your relationship with your mom. Then ask an open-ended question about his family. Ask how he gets along with his mom and he’ll want to tell you his stories.

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8. Appeal to His Playful Side

A Cancer man is childlike and has a playful side. You may not know this because he seems so moody and serious. Yet if you go on a date that is family friendly, where he’s likely to encounter kids, you’ll see him open up.

Even if there aren’t any kids around, invite him to play a game. Tell jokes, be slightly silly and let your innocent side run loose. You’ll see his playful and carefree side start to emerge.

Even asking him to play video games together or watching a movie that was popular when he was a kid will help melt his defenses. He will easily open up and start to feel more comfortable with you.

9. Don’t Put Pressure on Him

Even if you feel compelled to pursue a shy Cancer man, always be sure you do so in a way that doesn’t make him feel confined. Don’t put pressure on a Cancer man. Let him know you have all the time in the world and he’s worth the wait.

That’s part of what he wants to know. If you’re too eager or in a hurry, he’ll assume you will lose interest. Yet if you are patient and he knows it is only him you’re interested in, he will relax.

A Cancer man is ruled by his moods. He may be ready to settle down one day and want space the next day. He needs to know that you will be a steady presence.

If you pressure him, he may not feel like he has clarity to make a decision. Even if he opens up at first, he’ll later shut back down and make it seem like it’s your fault he wasn’t ready.

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10. Initiate Contact

If you text him first or text often, you won’t scare a Cancer man away. He’ll take your initiative as proof that you really care. Do give him some space to respond. At the same time, don’t be afraid to show your interest.

He may second guess his intuition and wonder if you really want more than a friendship. If you don’t step up to the plate first, he will be reluctant to initiate contact. He’ll assume you’re not interested.

Yet if you make it clear that you want to spend time together or date him, he’ll follow through. If he’s been hot and cold, he may be waiting for you to make the first move.