Astrologify

9 Signs a Virgo Man is Using You

Updated July 15, 2024

People generally consider Virgo to be reliable and honest so it can be shocking to find out a Virgo man is using you.

He might lie about wanting a relationship just because he wants sex. You might be useful to him in other ways as well.

Virgos can be cruel and manipulative just like anyone else can. They have many good traits but not all of them show their good side.

Some of the signs a Virgo man is playing you aren’t necessarily a red flag by themselves.

A Virgo man might be emotionally closed-off but making an effort to be more open. He may have legitimate reasons for not introducing you to this family.

If multiple signs are showing up, pay attention. If the behavior is consistent, that’s when you should start thinking about the possibility of him using you.

1. He’s Emotionally Closed-Off

he's emotionally closed off

Virgo is emotionally closed-off in general so this isn’t always a sign he’s using you or that he doesn’t like you. It’s all about the context with this one.

If you have been in a relationship for a good amount of time and he still refuses to open up at all, that’s a sign he might not be into you.

Opening up, or at least trying to, is one of the signs a Virgo man is serious about you.

If he never even makes an effort to open up, he might not be in the relationship for emotional intimacy or because he loves you. He might just want sex. He might have some other ulterior motive.

Before assuming he’s just a jerk who is using you, try to talk to him about this one. He may just legitimately have trouble opening up and need more time.

Is your Virgo man not communicating with you? Here's the trick to reel your Virgo back in. →

2. He’s Quiet

he's quiet

Virgo isn’t loud and wild like Gemini or Leo can be. He is very talkative, though, especially with people he’s supposed to be close to.

If your Virgo boyfriend never talks to you or only communicates in short sentences, that’s not a good sign.

This is another one where the context is important. Sometimes people are just more quiet than usual because they’re not feeling well. He might be busy and that’s the reason he’s not texting you as much.

If he never wants to talk to you, though, it might be because he just doesn’t like talking to you.

Virgo usually enjoys talking to his partners and friends. He likes to have intellectual conversations. He likes to learn from other people.

There’s no reason why a Virgo would stay in a relationship with somebody he didn’t like talking to unless he had some sort of ulterior motive.

3. He’s Never Available

he's never available

Why does a Virgo man ignore you sometimes? He might have legitimate reasons. Virgo men get busy. He won’t be available to you 24/7 and that’s okay.

If he never makes time for you, though, you might want to reconsider your relationship.

Virgo will often drop everything to help out somebody they love. If their friend is in the hospital, they’ll leave work early to go visit them. He’ll cancel plans to support his partner after a death in the family.

He is fully capable of acting selflessly. He’s typically good about making time in his schedule for his partner, no matter how busy he is.

If you really need him and he doesn’t even try to be there for you, he doesn’t care about you.

Sometimes he legitimately can’t physically go to you to help with something. Things happen. If he cares, though, he’ll at least show he’s making an effort or that he feels bad he can’t be there.

This is the #1 mistake women make with a Virgo man... →

4. He’s Cold And Distant

he's cold and distant

Virgo takes a while to open up but when he cares about somebody, he is willing to be vulnerable with them. He often becomes more affectionate.

If he’ll have sex with you but he won’t ever hold your hand or hug you, that might be a problem. That’s a sign a Virgo man just wants to hook up

If a Virgo man acts uninterested the majority of the time, he’s actually not interested in you. If you’ve said “I love you” and he never says it back, he’s not serious about you.

If he has a hard time saying it for some reason and he’s talked to you about this, that’s one thing. If he just refuses to say it or discuss the matter with you, he likely just doesn’t love you.

Why does a Virgo man withdraw? Sometimes, it’s not necessarily a sign he doesn’t care about you. Even if he does care about you and isn’t using you, being more open is still something he should work on.

5. He Gives Mixed-Signals

he gives mixed signals

Virgo men are manipulative sometimes. He knows he has to be nice sometimes to get what he wants. If Virgo is hot and cold with how he treats you, that’s a sign he might be using you.

He might be affectionate one day and completely ignore you the next. Maybe he only acts like he’s into you when other people aren’t around. That’s a sign he doesn’t want other people to know about your relationship for some reason.

Just because a Virgo man is attracted to you, that doesn’t mean he loves you. If he has sex with you and then ignores you, he’s just in it for the sex.

He might be kind and listen to you talk about your problems then immediately ask to borrow money or ask you to do something for him.

He might take you out to dinner and ask for a favor before the date is even done.

When he doesn’t want something from you, he might ignore you completely. He might be downright rude or act like he doesn’t want you around.

This magic will make your Virgo man want a relationship with you. →

6. You’ve Never Met His Family

you've never met his family

Family is important to Virgo. When he’s serious about somebody, he likes to introduce them to his family and friends.

Of course, there are legitimate reasons for not introducing a partner to your family. He might be estranged or not have a good relationship with them.

In that case, he’s more likely to introduce a partner to his close friends or his chosen family.

This isn’t always a red flag. If you’ve never met his family, ask him why. Introducing you to his friends might have been his version of “meet the family”.

If he’s close with his family and never introduces you to them, that might be a bad sign. If you’ve been dating for months and he hasn’t ever talked about you meeting his family, he might not take your relationship seriously.

7. He’s Overly Selfish

he's overly selfish

Everyone is selfish sometimes. People who always put others first get easily burnt out. If he puts himself first sometimes, don’t take that as a bad sign.

If he always puts himself first and never considers your feelings, that is a bad sign.

This can show up in minor ways. Maybe he never lets you pick the movie or where you two go to dinner. Maybe he always goes out with his friends instead of hanging out with you.

He might constantly ask you for things and then never return the favor. Maybe he borrows things and never gives them back. Maybe you are always helping him and he’s nowhere to be found when you need help.

This is a sign that he just keeps you around because you’re useful. You have things he wants. You’re always willing to help him and do favors when he asks.

If you stopped doing all those things, would he still be with you? You might need to start saying no and see if he stays in the relationship.

A tiny trick to snatch your Virgo man's heart?... even if he's cold and distant... →

8. He Breaks Plans

he breaks plans

Will a Virgo man lead you on? Some absolutely will. He’ll make plans and get your hopes up, only to dash them at the last minute.

If a Virgo man makes no effort to keep plans with you or be on time, this is a definite sign that he’s using you.

Virgo is usually a reliable person. He sticks to his schedule. He’s timely and he hates when other people are late.

If he’s constantly canceling plans with you, he’s not serious about you at all. He might be ditching your dates to hang out with his friends instead or even go on a date with someone else.

Virgo hates it when people constantly back out on plans at the last minute. He doesn’t like it when people aren’t on time. If he’s the one being flaky this is a huge red flag.

9. He’s Dishonest

he's dishonest

Virgo hates liars. He takes a long time to trust people and he can’t stand it when they break that trust.

If you’re always catching him in a lie, that’s a huge problem.

One lie isn’t a red flag. Things happen. Generally, though, Virgo is an honest person (sometimes to a fault).

He might lie about where he is because he’s seeing somebody else. He might say he wants a serious relationship with you but then refuses to acknowledge the relationship.

If he can’t be honest with you it’s because he’s purposefully being deceitful. You don’t need to be in a relationship with somebody like that.

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2 Comments Add one

  1. Yea he only comes over at night I’ve never met his family and he takes things that he wants, on the other hand he is the best I have ever been with sexually. Even though he won’t go anywhere with me in the day time I appreciate the fact that he prioritizes my pleasure even though he ignores me the next day. I sound crazy but the sex is so good it’s worth it. Hopefully one day he will give me a fair chance

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s important to prioritize your needs and feelings. You deserve respect and attention in all aspects of the relationship.

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