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Venus Square Black Moon Lilith: Shame & Pleasure

Published February 13, 2025

Venus square Black Moon Lilith can create fears and insecurities related to self-worth. Both sexual energy and the more harmonious affection of Venus can be blocked.

There is sometimes too much focus on pleasuring others. There may be issues with societal norms about sex.

What does Venus square Black Moon Lilith mean? This aspect creates tension between Venus’ love and affection and Black Moon Lilith’s rage, primal instincts, and rebellion.

Individuals might experience sexual shame or believe they are only worth what they can provide to others. Couples may struggle with manipulation, autonomy, or insecurities that prevent them from fully connecting.

Any discomfort and tension this square creates can be relieved by looking deep within. Finding the root cause of shame, guilt, and insecurities will lead to more authentic connections and forms of sexual expression.

Natal

Venus square Black Moon Lilith in a chart can give someone a magnetic, seductive nature, but they might also experience sexual shame. They may sometimes feel pleasure is all they have to offer in relationships.

People with this aspect in their charts often have a complicated relationship with their primal nature. They might feel connected to it but guilty and ashamed of their darkest desires.

If you’ve got Venus square Black Moon Lilith in your Natal Chart, you might have insecurities related to pleasure and intimacy. You may place too much value on the sexual side of relationships and might, on some level, think that is all you can give others.

Your sense of self-worth can be incredibly skewed. You might enjoy sex sometimes and seek your pleasure, only to feel guilty afterward. You may believe you aren’t worth anything if you don’t please others.

Forming authentic, fulfilling connections with others can be difficult for you. On the one hand, you may crave closeness with another person. On the other hand, you might worry about losing your autonomy.

Resolving this square’s tension requires you to do intense shadow work and develop a healthier relationship with your sexual energy. You do not have to feel ashamed of your desires. You are more than what you can provide to others, too.

Look deep within you and uncover the actual reasons behind your fears and insecurities. When you feel happier with yourself, you can seek more fulfilling relationships. You can explore your sexual nature and have true intimacy without guilt or shame.

Remember that you are worthy of love. You don’t have to focus entirely on pleasing others for that to be true. You can also prioritize your pleasure.

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Transit

Venus square Black Moon Lilith during a transit calls you to examine your true desires. What is holding you back from seeking pleasure? Are your connections with others entirely authentic? If not, what needs to change?

If Venus transits your natal Black Moon Lilith, the desire for romance or connection can overshadow your sexual urges and primal nature. You might try to hide the darker side of your desires during this time.

If Black Moon Lilith transits your natal Venus, you may be torn between keeping the peace and asserting yourself. You might crave freedom but worry about how that will affect your connections with others.

The Venus-Black Moon Lilith square can make it difficult for you to maintain autonomy in romantic and sexual relationships. You may struggle to fulfill your desires while pleasing others.

You might believe that if you assert yourself too much, you will push others away. You may think that expressing specific desires will lead to rejection. You might be insecure about your sexual urges or ashamed of them.

This transit is an excellent time to examine feelings of shame, guilt, and powerlessness. How can you be authentic and stand up to others while maintaining meaningful, harmonious connections?

Speak up about what you want and need. Don’t be afraid of your sexual nature. When you express yourself to people who genuinely love you, they won’t reject you. Your authenticity will help you grow closer to them.

You might not entirely discard all shame or insecurity during this time, but you can get on the right track. Be open and honest about how you feel. Speak up if you aren’t getting what you need in a relationship.

You can be yourself and maintain autonomy while connecting to others. You don’t have to sacrifice freedom for intimacy.

Synastry

Venus square Black Moon Lilith in synastry creates tension between one partner’s need for intimacy and connection and the other’s desire for autonomy. There can sometimes be power struggles in this relationship.

The Venus partner in this relationship might focus more on connection, while the Black Moon Lilith partner craves freedom. These two might view sex and pleasure differently.

Sometimes, the Venus partner prioritizes the Black Moon Lilith partner’s pleasure over theirs. This might satisfy the Black Moon Lilith partner but also make them feel guilty.

There is sometimes a sense of shame around sex in this relationship, too, which is one of the Venus square Black Moon Lilith cons. The Black Moon Lilith partner might be ashamed of darker urges. The Venus partner may have trouble fully opening up about what pleases them.

These two might struggle to be vulnerable with one another. Each may be hiding fears and insecurities that prevent them from connecting. However, they must be willing to open up to resolve this square’s tension.

Each partner needs to look within to find balance. They must examine the root cause behind issues with intimacy, sex, and pleasure. They must address repressed emotions and overcome shame.

They can heal when these two are open and honest with one another. They can discard unhealthy views about sex and form a stronger connection. They can have intimacy and mutual pleasure. These are some of the Venus square Black Moon Lilith pros.

The Venus partner can get the connection they desire, and the Black Moon Lilith partner can freely express themselves. Both can grow and work through complex emotions that prevent them from genuinely connecting.

Unveil the mysteries of your birth chart with our free calculator.

Composite

Venus square Black Moon Lilith in a Composite Chart can create a tense and disharmonious dynamic between two people. The untamed energy of Black Moon Lilith and the beauty of Venus can be at odds in this relationship.

This couple might struggle to form an entirely authentic connection. Both partners may struggle to open up about their sexual desires out of fear. They may also struggle to live up to external expectations.

One partner might repress their feelings and hide their true sexual nature because they are ashamed. Instead of asking for what they need, they might neglect their needs entirely, but they could also resort to manipulation to get what they want.

Sometimes, certain impulses are impossible to deny. One partner could become demanding if they let things build up inside of them for too long. They might explode with intense, complicated emotions.

These two likely want to form an intimate connection but might feel something is blocking them. They may both want passion and romance but struggle to express that to one another.

Discarding societal expectations is the first step to resolving this square’s tension. This couple should stop focusing on how they think their relationship should be.

Together, these two can overcome sexual shame. They can connect to their shadows and more primal nature while enjoying love’s gentle and harmonious side.

Both partners can learn to ask for what they need. They can express their sensual desires without fear of judgment. They can have a healthier relationship when neither partner is repressing anything.

This relationship can help both partners learn to express their authentic desires. They can find love and acceptance by being their true selves and asking for what they want.

Solar Return

Venus square Black Moon Lilith during a solar return indicates that you likely need to address some significant issues with autonomy and desire in the upcoming year.

You might have sexual desires that are at odds with societal norms. You may realize that you repress your feelings and hide your desires because you believe they aren’t “normal” and you are ashamed.

You may also discover that you have a complicated relationship with sex. You might crave it but deny yourself what you truly want. You may struggle with the balance between seeking and giving pleasure, too.

Sometimes, you might have a perfectly healthy relationship with your urges but struggle when connecting to others. You might struggle to form bonds with others because you don’t want to give up your freedom.

Whatever issues you have, you must examine them this year. Whether you are a people-pleaser or keep others at a distance, you must find a better balance between intimacy and autonomy.

You must address feelings of guilt and shame. Your urges and desires are perfectly natural, no matter what society or anyone else might say. Do some shadow work and healthily connect to your primal self.

Explore your needs and desires more this year, too. If you have a partner, open up to them. You might find that you’re met with acceptance instead of the rejection you fear.

Encourage others to open up to you, too. Relationships will be mutually beneficial and pleasurable when you and your partners express your desires and work to fulfill them.

You can feel empowered when you accept your sexual nature. You can form bonds and build intimacy when you express it to others without fear. You can create a healthier connection to your desires when you are willing to do the emotional work required.

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